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solarkey's avatar

this has been a helpful framework for me, thank you for sharing

i noticed that the message i internalised wasn't so much 'i shouldn't exist' as it was 'my way of existing is wrong' (or maybe the latter is just a variation of the former). my life's 'purpose' was to please a parent, simply being myself was either insufficient or unsafe

i still try to avoid disappointing said parent and everyone else for good measure. i imagined that the prize for my 'awakening quest' would be freedom to be just as i am, but also that others would like me for it. basically, a childlike longing to feel safe and loved

hopefully, the guilt loop will indeed dissolve although i can't imagine life outside of it

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Celene's avatar

Very relatable!

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