Living this, let it burn. All that’s left is the now and what pours through it. Lost everyone, everything, homeless, penniless, and HERE… what pours through is not for performance, it just IS. Sometimes it’s art, sometimes it’s song, sometimes it’s poetry, sometimes it’s… something else entirely, something words cannot name. There is no return from this. I wouldn’t have it any other way now that I KNOW. 🖤
Thanks for sharing Elisha. Reading your comment provoked a curiosity around what exactly it is that you KNOW. Please elaborate if you feel inclined to.
Thank you for the ‘if you feel inclined to.’ So often people feel entitled to what someone knows… as for what I KNOW… all things are subjective, including KNOWsis… subject to the lens through which you, the individuating consciousness, perceives reality based on your own path and experiences. On my path I have experienced things that many others would not choose, things that have been dark indeed from the very beginning of my life, and yet I chose to recognize that alchemizing these experiences is why I’m here, why I’m alive… still, after numerous NDE’s. I KNOW that facing the fear of Death is a portal, that identity deconstruction with intention is a form of Death and, for me, the only true way to live. I KNOW that I came to walk the paths I do so that others who could not or would not, can see what is possible and to anchor a frequency older than time into this reality. I KNOW that the more times I shed who I think or who I’m told I should be, the more depth, beauty, and joy unfolds in my life… which is not to say there isn’t pain, darkness or despair. I KNOW that you can only go as high as you’re willing to go low, and the Soul that inhabits this body came for the full spectrum experience. It’s a wild ride. I wouldn’t change it for anything 🙌🏻🖤🫶🏻
you speak about this in a way that implies this is the only 'proper' way to go through it. how i see it, you talk about the so-called 'path of insight' or burning everything that isn't true
apart from that, there's a 'path of devotion', it has to do with love, complete, utter, without reservation. dissapearing into the object of love, be it a human, god, the sun or the universe itself
the latter has been my way of experiencing this. i have been dying into what/whom i loved, again and again
Honestly, I don’t really know what that means experientially. That’s not how it’s moved here.
What’s unfolded here hasn’t had anything to do with love, devotion, or dissolving into something greater. It’s been a relentless dismantling of everything that isn’t true. Not surrender into something, but the exposure that even the idea of something to surrender to was part of the illusion.
Because the very framing of other, whether it’s God, the universe, presence, or love, was part of the same dualistic structure. Part of the same dream. That collapsed. Along with the one who would merge into it.
Whether what you’re describing ultimately leads to the same thing, I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. What’s clear here is that nothing survived this. No center. No scaffolding. No other. Nothing sacred left standing.
But I’m not dismissing what you’re saying. Just being honest. I can only speak from how it unfolded here. And here it was never about merging into anything. It was about burning until there was just this absurd and wonderful mystery of what is left.
i'd say i'm within the dualistic paradigm right now, but what i've been going through did hurt like hell and was scary as fuсk. because the point wasn't just loving 'the good god', but the 'devil' (so to say) as well. i had to integrate everything i feared, all the ugly stuff. and it was expressed externally as something i both tried to escape and was going back to again and again
the 'void' was a prominent aspect of this as well, since there was nowhere to escape to from the 'darkness' and the 'loved' aspect of experience wasn't helping me at all
idk, maybe both me and the loved/feared one will collapse. maybe the void will be what's left. i haven't really read what that 'path of devotion' leads to, i just heard it mentioned somewhere and was like, omg this is literally me
you're right, i can feel i'm dreaming and making up stories. i just felt like sharing what i've experienced because i never really talked about it before in this way. actually i saw this whole dynamic playing out in my life only a day or two ago. this is what i call 'my personal myth' and it feels good to see the big picture
perhaps that's just a resting place, but that's what feels right to share rn. i know i may sound like i'm taking it all too seriosly and believing in this wholeheartedly, but it helps to (pretend to) believe the story before discarding it. otherwise there would be nothing to discard
also, i appreciate your honesty and engaging in this little conversation :)
What most call “being present” is just a thought about presence. A mental commentary pretending presence is something to do, reach, or maintain.
But the present doesn’t care. It’s here before, during, and after every thought about it.
The pull toward self-erasure is the right impulse. It’s not dysfunction. It’s the natural response when the false starts to feel unbearable. When the weight of being someone collapses in on itself.
It’s not an escape from reality. It’s the movement toward reality. The impulse to erase the one who suffers, who searches, who manages, who pretends to be here.
Living this, let it burn. All that’s left is the now and what pours through it. Lost everyone, everything, homeless, penniless, and HERE… what pours through is not for performance, it just IS. Sometimes it’s art, sometimes it’s song, sometimes it’s poetry, sometimes it’s… something else entirely, something words cannot name. There is no return from this. I wouldn’t have it any other way now that I KNOW. 🖤
Thanks for sharing Elisha. Reading your comment provoked a curiosity around what exactly it is that you KNOW. Please elaborate if you feel inclined to.
Thank you for the ‘if you feel inclined to.’ So often people feel entitled to what someone knows… as for what I KNOW… all things are subjective, including KNOWsis… subject to the lens through which you, the individuating consciousness, perceives reality based on your own path and experiences. On my path I have experienced things that many others would not choose, things that have been dark indeed from the very beginning of my life, and yet I chose to recognize that alchemizing these experiences is why I’m here, why I’m alive… still, after numerous NDE’s. I KNOW that facing the fear of Death is a portal, that identity deconstruction with intention is a form of Death and, for me, the only true way to live. I KNOW that I came to walk the paths I do so that others who could not or would not, can see what is possible and to anchor a frequency older than time into this reality. I KNOW that the more times I shed who I think or who I’m told I should be, the more depth, beauty, and joy unfolds in my life… which is not to say there isn’t pain, darkness or despair. I KNOW that you can only go as high as you’re willing to go low, and the Soul that inhabits this body came for the full spectrum experience. It’s a wild ride. I wouldn’t change it for anything 🙌🏻🖤🫶🏻
Sounds like you are having a wild ride. Thanks for sharing. 🫶
🫶🏻
you speak about this in a way that implies this is the only 'proper' way to go through it. how i see it, you talk about the so-called 'path of insight' or burning everything that isn't true
apart from that, there's a 'path of devotion', it has to do with love, complete, utter, without reservation. dissapearing into the object of love, be it a human, god, the sun or the universe itself
the latter has been my way of experiencing this. i have been dying into what/whom i loved, again and again
Honestly, I don’t really know what that means experientially. That’s not how it’s moved here.
What’s unfolded here hasn’t had anything to do with love, devotion, or dissolving into something greater. It’s been a relentless dismantling of everything that isn’t true. Not surrender into something, but the exposure that even the idea of something to surrender to was part of the illusion.
Because the very framing of other, whether it’s God, the universe, presence, or love, was part of the same dualistic structure. Part of the same dream. That collapsed. Along with the one who would merge into it.
Whether what you’re describing ultimately leads to the same thing, I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. What’s clear here is that nothing survived this. No center. No scaffolding. No other. Nothing sacred left standing.
But I’m not dismissing what you’re saying. Just being honest. I can only speak from how it unfolded here. And here it was never about merging into anything. It was about burning until there was just this absurd and wonderful mystery of what is left.
i'd say i'm within the dualistic paradigm right now, but what i've been going through did hurt like hell and was scary as fuсk. because the point wasn't just loving 'the good god', but the 'devil' (so to say) as well. i had to integrate everything i feared, all the ugly stuff. and it was expressed externally as something i both tried to escape and was going back to again and again
the 'void' was a prominent aspect of this as well, since there was nowhere to escape to from the 'darkness' and the 'loved' aspect of experience wasn't helping me at all
idk, maybe both me and the loved/feared one will collapse. maybe the void will be what's left. i haven't really read what that 'path of devotion' leads to, i just heard it mentioned somewhere and was like, omg this is literally me
If that is your experience, trust that.
And just to be clear. This conversation, these words, this whole exchange… it’s part of the dream too. Including everything I just shared.
Pointing can happen inside the dream. Seeing can happen inside the dream. Even the most accurate descriptions are still dream content.
What’s real isn’t in the words. It’s not in the map. It’s what remains when the one reading the map dissolves.
you're right, i can feel i'm dreaming and making up stories. i just felt like sharing what i've experienced because i never really talked about it before in this way. actually i saw this whole dynamic playing out in my life only a day or two ago. this is what i call 'my personal myth' and it feels good to see the big picture
perhaps that's just a resting place, but that's what feels right to share rn. i know i may sound like i'm taking it all too seriosly and believing in this wholeheartedly, but it helps to (pretend to) believe the story before discarding it. otherwise there would be nothing to discard
also, i appreciate your honesty and engaging in this little conversation :)
I enjoy exchanging thoughts and descriptions of experiences. The appreciation is mutual. :)
Not necessarily a better life (or dream) version. Desiring death is also an attempt to escape the present.
It’s never not the present.
What most call “being present” is just a thought about presence. A mental commentary pretending presence is something to do, reach, or maintain.
But the present doesn’t care. It’s here before, during, and after every thought about it.
The pull toward self-erasure is the right impulse. It’s not dysfunction. It’s the natural response when the false starts to feel unbearable. When the weight of being someone collapses in on itself.
It’s not an escape from reality. It’s the movement toward reality. The impulse to erase the one who suffers, who searches, who manages, who pretends to be here.
🙏